When Do I Get To Cry

the word to describe the pain you caused
does not exist today
because nothing said could ever hurt
as bad as what you had to say

alone I sit and pray and wait
for a love that will never come
and all the while you are out there
knowing what you have done

the scratch of a rope around my neck
or a knife peeling away my skin
feels more loving than the way
things between us did end

I stare into the mirror
while I try to change and try
but nothing takes away the pain
when do I get to cry