When You Give Up On Living

is there a way to describe the feeling you get
right before you give up on living
as you stand on a rooftop and think about
how sweet it will feel when everything splatters
or when you know each kick will cause the rope to tighten
and it will itch worse than any new sweater ever could
as you wait for that feeling just before the knife digs deep
releasing a shower of blood that will squeeze the life out of you
imagine that moment as you wait to hear the gun click
just before the cold steel goes from freezer to furnace
maybe that instant when that handful of pills
shuts off everything inside you forever
no one knows if there is a way to describe that feeling
because everyone who got to that point
took the next step that took them away from here forever
and to those who survive there is no way they can ever say
they know what it is like when you give up on living because they are alive
the only people who really know what that feels like are dead